If your ex is dating someone else, whoever the hell she is, its going to suck ass.
Its just one of those things that happen in life that will always make you feel like shit (even if you broke up on good terms).
And it doesnt matter how strong and resilient you think you are. Knowing your ex-boyfriend is dating someone else, laughing with someone else, referring tothe two of them as a we and fucking someone elsewill always unleash these dark, somewhat jealous demons inside of you.
Its just how it goes.
You can keep pretending youre fine, youre over it, youve maybe even moved on with somebody else which just proves how much you dont care anymore. But it will never matter.
You will think, Who is this girl? And thats when you feel completely ambushed by emotions, start feeling kind of crazy, start stalking the both of them all over social media and begin to overanalyze absolutely everything that ever happened in your relationship.
You start to psyche yourself out by trying to make sense of it. What is he thinking? What does she have that I dont? What does he like about her? Who is this bitch?
And thats when you try to dissect their entire relationship, scouring foranything that will make you feel better about them dating.
You think of every scenario, trying to figure her out. You wonder if she seems better than you. You wonder if she seems less than you.
But either way, what difference does it make? Hes NOT with you. Hes with HER. And theres nothing about that fact that will ever feel good, no matter what kind of girl she is.
But lets just say youve characterized this girlinto being someone who could never in a million years compare to you. Shouldnt that make you feel better? Shouldnt it make you feel like youve won, realizing your ex is now slumming it with someone who looks totally rambunctious and annoying, or even really boring and super basic?
When comparing yourself to that, there is no comparison. So, why should it bother you at all that hes settling for someone like that?
Shouldnt it make you want to laugh, shake your head and say something sassy, even make you pity him a little bit for thinking that this girl of all girls is someone he finds attractive?
And yet, it doesnt make you feel any of those things. It makes you feel like everything is complicated. It makes you feel stubborn. It brings back all those stupid fights you instigated the fights hes definitely not having with this new girl because shes so not like that.
Shes easygoing and simple, and she doesnt need to micromanage anything. And then, you feel like shit all over again.
On the flip side, you imagine your ex is dating someone better than you.
She doesnt seem like someone you want to make fun of right off the bat. Shes actually pretty. She looks like someone who has important things to say.
Shes successful, has an endearing personality, good-on-paper qualities and shes happy with every aspect of her life. And thats when it reveals every insecurity youve ever had.
Because now your ex doesnt have to deal with someone who isnt happy with their job, who isnt discouraged with life and who isnt plagued with this never-ending sense of wanderlust like some annoying college girl.
Hes now in a solid relationship with someone who can really challenge him, better him and not break him down with all these big life questions you could never seem to answer for yourself.
Either way, whoever this girl is, whether better or worse or somewhere in between, analyzing your exs new lovewill never make you feel better.
It wont validate your breakup. It wont make you feel relieved hes no longer yours. It wont make you feel indifferent.
It will, no matter what, make you feel totally awful. You should have been the love of his life. He should have realized that in comparison to anyone else, there is no comparison to you.
And when thats not the case, when he has,in fact, moved on to another love, it stings like hell.
And it makes you feel things you swore youd never feel because you never wanted to be that girl thegirl who felt like she wasnt enough, who made herself wish she was somehow different, who for one second compared herself to anyone else.
But theres nothing you can do about it. If you keep rummaging through the idea of it all through the idea of your ex with his new girl and how happy they are you will only hurt yourself more.
The situation sucks. It will forever suck. But you have to learn to just let them be.
Hell never have with her what he had with you, no matter what you imagine her to be like.
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