I saw a photo of Ben Affleck at the beach, tattoo of a phoenix on his back, towel positioned to hide his belly in front, and I thought, oh Ben. I feel you, manAs a miserable, disaffected, self-loathing teenager in the 1990s, my celebrity alter ego was Winona Ryder, who made adolescent misery, disaffection and self-loathing look incredibly chic, as opposed to the unwashed and self-destructive mess that it was and is. A celebrity alter ego is a famous person who has a hint of qualities you recognise in yourself, but carries them off perhaps a bit more photogenically, and, as adulthood beckoned, I looked around for role models to show me how to do the grownup years well. I gravitated towards cool, older women who looked like they could happily spend a weekend on their own and also like they would be the greatest lunch dates ever. There was Nora Ephron, obviously, and Gloria Steinem, still killing it after all these years. There was also a carefully curated selection of actors: Holly Hunter, Allison Janney, Laurie Metcalf, Sally Field. Yes, I’d think, watching them become even more talented, self-confident and beautiful as the years went by. Those are lives I want. This is the path I am on.And then, one day, I opened a magazine, saw a photograph and realised I had not grown up to be Nora Ephron or Holly Hunter or even modern-day Winona. I had grown up to be Ben Affleck. Continue reading…

Source: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/apr/07/hadley-freeman-help-im-turning-into-ben-affleck