With the start of the new year you would think that everybody could accept the overused phrase “in with the new, out with the old” but it seems some trends we just can’t get the fuck away from. It’s like that fugly friend who thinks since you allowed her to come to your NYE pregame, you guys are like besties now. She left before the clock turned to midnight (she’s lame and had to meet up with her equally fugly boyfriend) so technically you haven’t seen her since last year and you really don’t plan on speaking to that TTH loser anyway. If only the same could be said for these trends.
1. High-waisted jeans
People need a major wakeup call because these never were and never will be flattering. Your ass would probably still look fat even if you lived at the gym for the entire month of January. Please put away the crop top and this hideous excuse for pants because I can still see your muffin top from across the bar.
2. Nerdy glasses
Half the people who wear these probably don’t even have a prescription. You’re not a hipster, you’re not nerdy-hot – you’re just a freak who thinks wearing big glasses will distract from your huge nose that your plastic surgeon just couldn’t fix.
You’re not a middle-aged father so put these away. It’s 2015 AKA time for you to learn the name Christian Louboutin.
4. Statement necklaces
These fugly chokers can be compared to oversized bibs your grandma bought for you and made you wear. Only difference is now you’re not a toddler and have a say in what you dress yourself in so stop buying these eye sores that really just make you look even more flat chested than you did before.
5. Nail Art
Enough is enough stop drawing pictures of fucking flowers on your nails. Grown women everywhere are acting like kindergartners. How can you possibly ask your usual nail lady at your fav place that you want a chevron design on every other finger while keeping a straight face?
You’re not Katy Perry so stop dressing up as a Cheeto. Having the McDonald’s logo on your t-shirt doesn’t make it haute couture; it just makes you look tacky.