The most fertile week of your month can also be the most miserable.

1. I need to have sex.

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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2. All the sex.

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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3. Sex sex sex sex sex.

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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4. Wow, that person is so hot.

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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5. I’d totally do that person over there.

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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6. And that person isn’t that hot, but I’d probably still do them.

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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7. I’d do most everyone right now, honestly.

I'd do most everyone right now, honestly.

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8. I wish my top were lower and my skirt were shorter.

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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Fun fact: Women are more likely to show more skin when ovulating.

9. I also kind of secretly wish I had a baby.

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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Babies are so cute with their big slobbery chins and wiggly little toes and inability to care for themselves.

10. Don’t be ridiculous, self. I don’t need a baby.

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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What would I even do with a baby?

11. What I DO need is some food.

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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12. I need tons of food.

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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13. I need to eat every food that exists.

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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14. I just want to eat and have sex. At the same time, if possible.

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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15. I also want to hold and cuddle and snuggle a baby.

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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16. No, two babies.

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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17. Dude, there’s a thing inside my body that could turn into a baby right now.

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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How sci-fi is that?!

18. What if there’s an actual baby in there now?

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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So what if I haven’t had sex since the Nixon administration, what if there’s a baby in there?!

19. Wait, what kind of pain is this?

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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Is the baby coming or is it just really bad gas?

20. It feels like my fallopian tube is exploding.

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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Damn you, mittelschmerz.

21. OK, I think the worst is over, but maybe I should get really emo and throw a tantrum for good measure.

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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WAAHH I WANNA HAVE A BABY BUT I DON’T REALLY WANT A BABY IT’S JUST MY BODY MAKING ME THINK I WANT A BABY WHY WON’T IT LEAVE ME ALOOONE!

22. It’s all over! Time to celebrate another month of triumph over my womb!

22 Thoughts You Have While You're Ovulating

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WOO!

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/tracyclayton/egg-drop-soup

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