A simple reflection exercise to help Veterans and caregivers reclaim time for themselves

When it comes to self care, how much time do you set aside for yourself each day?

If your honest answer is “barely any,” you’re not alone. It’s always easy to feel like you’re losing track of time—and yourself. We find that Veterans and caregivers often put their own needs last, but a few simple reflection questions and some SMART (Specific, Measurable, Action-oriented, Realistic, Time-based) goal setting can help turn that around.

Here’s a step-by-step approach to finding time for yourself, even during the busiest stretches of the year.

Ask yourself the hard questions first

Before you can make time for self care, it helps to get honest about where your time goes. Consider: Are there things you’d rather be doing than what takes up your time now? What’s getting in the way of what matters most to you? Which parts of your life feel neglected? And are there dreams or goals you’ve quietly set aside?

Conduct a time recon

For one week, jot down roughly how you spend your time each day: work, chores, caregiving duties, family time, leisure, sleep. With shifting schedules and work ramping up this time of year, your usual routine may already look different than it did a month ago. You don’t need anything fancy; a notebook or a notes app works fine. The goal isn’t judgment, but information. You can’t change what you can’t see.

Find the disconnect

Once you have a few days logged, look honestly at the results. Does your time reflect what you value? If you’re a caregiver, are you spending so much energy on others that your own needs have quietly disappeared? If you’re a Veteran, is stress, pain or routine crowding out the things that used to bring you joy?

Turn your reflection into a SMART goal

Noticing an imbalance is only step one; the next step is doing something about it. This is where SMART goals come in handy. Instead of a vague resolution like “relax more,” a SMART goal might be “read for 15 minutes, four nights a week.” For a clear breakdown of the framework, give this video a try.

Pick one priority to start with

You don’t have to fix everything at once. Choose the one area that feels most urgent or meaningful to you right now. The video SMART Goals Step 1: Picking Your Priorities can help you narrow down where to focus your first self-care goal.

Write it down and make it specific

Vague intentions rarely survive a busy week. Write your self-care goal using the SMART format, so you know exactly what success looks like. SMART Goals Step 2: Setting Your SMART Goals walks through how to build a goal that sticks.

Revisit and track your progress weekly

Self-care isn’t a one-time fix; it’s an ongoing practice. Make it a habit to revisit your time log and your SMART goal at least once a week. SMART Goals Step 3: Tracking Your SMART Goals offers simple ways to stay accountable and adjust as life changes.

Self care isn’t selfish!

Taking care of yourself is the foundation that lets you show up fully for everything else in life. Small, consistent steps make a real difference over time. For more tools and encouragement, check out these other VA News stories on Veteran and caregiver wellness. Small, consistent steps make a real difference over time.