Im not one for trying to change people.

I give a little credit in life to fate, and a lot to free will. I understand people choose how they act, react and live their lives. As a third party to that, I understand I can really only control my own agenda.

Who I am, is the girl who thinks she understands you. I believe I am the one that gets you. I see your good and your kindness beneath the tough top layer. I see the sadness behind your anger. I recognize why you are the way you are.

I ignore warnings about you and your reputation. I am conflicted when you dont get along with my friends. I want them to see what I have caught a glimpse of: the fears that keep you withdrawn, the depth with which you can care, the warmth and affection youre able to show.

I want the world to understand you like I do.

And there it is. I want the world to understand you like I do.

I want change the opinion of the masses to the single opinion that I have formed.

I will continue to disregard your list of faults because I want to feel like I am the individual that gets why you are the way you are.

My best friend was the first to point this out to me when we were 15. You see the good in everyone, she would say. Its one of my favorite things about you. But, hes an asshole. Stop wasting your time. She was right, and should also teach a class on how to bait and switch.

But its hard; walking away feels like giving up on someone who needs to be heard.

Thats what it feels like, but thats is not what it is.

Fortunately, in the past 10 years, I have met a lot of genuine people, I have learned to hold my own and I have grown immensely. (Read: I now know everything there is to know about everything!) But, I still slip up and so, I still get it.

When you feel like youre holding on because youre the only one who understands him, remember a few things:

1.The world isnt against you

We live in our own worlds, surrounded by people who care about us. Yet, when we hear our loved ones speak poorly of the person were dating, we become defensive. We act as if he is the victim to an unprovoked attack.

Your friend isnt out to ruin your relationship. Your mom doesnt want you to be single forever. Your roommate isnt spiteful because you now have someone else to watch movies with. If the people in our lives are collectively up in arms about whom were spending our time with, please recognize that that means something.a

If the same friend who celebrated a promotion with you sat on the phone when you found out a relative passed away, or held your hair back after a night of drinking is digging their heels in about your relationship, their opinion is not coming from a place of resentment.

True friends are happy when they see you happy. The same goes for unhappiness.

2. Everyone is not wrong

Patterns reveal a lot. Actually, I will go as far as to say patterns reveal the truth. Mistakes and slip-ups happen, and they are just that, as long as they are not repetitive.

If multiple people have had a negative experience with how he treats women or handles conflict, it means he treats women and handles conflict poorly.

Why Being Single Isn’t So Bad

If multiple people have accounts of how he has hurt them, it means he has been hurtful to multiple people.

If an entire social media platform tells you not to waste your time watching the final season of Dexter, do NOT start the final season of Dexter. (If you take away one piece of advice, it is this.)

Your refusal to believe what others point out does not make you wise and patient; it makes you hopeful and optimistic against mounds of evidence. Sometimes people understand things before you do, hear them out.

3. You can still find good in openly good people

The appeal of the bad boy is that youre the one whogets through to him. Its that youve accomplished something, that youve found something that no one else has. You are the Dr. Dre that gave yellow jumpsuit Eminem a chance!

Just wait until it clicks for everyone elseright?

Heres the thing: Being a good, humble human should not be something that is hidden. Being a respectable and decent person is not something that should be reserved for only the elite members of his life. Humanity deserves consideration and kindness; not just the girl that decided to put up with his angst long enough.

You do not need to settle for someone who acts as if this behavior is a reward.

People who are kind and humble off the bat are not less appealing because they are upfront about who they are. People who do not make you work to find their softness are not dull or simple. They are good. They are worthy of your love. Quite frankly, they are more deserving of it. It is genuine and non-circumstantial.

We live in a big world where lines are blurred and comparison is constant. Its easy to want to fall into a position where we feel like we are the one person who can do anything. But this shouldnt be it.

Even if you are the one who gets through to him, the one person that he can show kindness and compassion to, realize what that says. That he only feels the need to show kindness and compassion to one person.

Put your energy into someone who is not afraid, ashamed or disinterested in showing those qualities to others, to his friends, to your friends, to your families.

You should not feel like you have to compartmentalize a relationship. You should be able to share that happiness with others, and when they feel its someone who genuinely will make you happy, they will share it right back.

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Theres nothing better than scaring the shit out of your significant other with a truly epic prank.

Dont believe me? Just ask 17-year-old Lizette Galvan.

Recently, this makeup enthusiast from Fort Worth, Texas was watching a Yoda makeup tutorial when she came up with a brilliant prank to pull on her boyfriend.

She was going to tell her boyfriend, 17-year-old Anthony Rabago, she was going to shave off her eyebrows.

Mothers Flip Out When Kids Prank Call Them With Terrible News

Galvan got to work on her prank by, first, gathering up some makeup tools and an Elmers washable glue stick.

Then, she told her boyfriend about her eyebrow-shaving intentions and sent a picture to prove she was dead-ass serious.

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No matter how many heartbreaks and heartaches we go through, our desire to find love never changes.

No matter how many awkward dates we have, the hope that the next will be amazing and will turn out to be our soulmate never fades. This is why weve agreed to go on dates with the kind-of-cute-if-his-hair-wasnt-the-same-length-as-mine guy from the bar, the barista who knows our morning coffee order by heartand our cats doctor.

Dating apps have changed the game and now theres a new place for love to be found and awkward dates to be made: Tinder.

Here are the five stages ofanyand all Tinder dates:

Stage 1: Denial

You sit at the bar, patiently waiting for your date to arrive. You cant believe youve resorted to using Tinder to find love, but youre hopeful. Everyone you know has met their SO on Tinder!

The textual chemistry between you two is so strong you think this could be something amazing.

You check the time, kicking yourself for arriving so early. Picking up your phone, you scrollthrough Facebook, deleting bad selfies and returning emails from your mom anything to make it look like youre not waiting for a blind date.

You begin to psyche yourself out and worry youre not going to recognize them when they arrive, so you decide to take one last look at their photos. You set the contrast on your phone to low and hold itunderneath the table, so no one can see. Even though half ofNew York City uses Tinder, theres still a stigma attached and you dont want strangers judging you.

You scroll through their photos hoping and praying they are who they say they are.

You notice they were active only four minutes ago. Um, WTF? Maybe theyre doing the same and checking out your pictures as well? Or, more likely, theyre still trolling the app for more matches. As you put your phone down you hear someone say your name.

Stage 2: Anger

You look up to see someone who vaguely resembles the photos you just looked at. Apparently someonerecently discovered Photoshop.

They sit down across from you and begin to make small talk, but all you can think about is how you already know they graduated from Columbia with a business degree and have two brothers and a dog named Rex.

Why You Shouldn’t Google Someone Before A Date

You dont dare mention any of this, otherwise theyll know you stalked them ahead of time, so you keep your mouth shut and make a mental note to write Google a thank you.

Theyre not as cute as their photos and something about their voice seriously irks you. Really? This was the beautiful stranger on the other end of all those late night, early morning, really drunk, text messages?

You grab your drink and try to focus on what theyre saying, but you cant shake the fact the two of you already exchanged a fair share of racy texts. Your mother would be so disappointed.

Stage 3: Bargaining

As the date starts to wind down and your buzz from the drinks begin to kick in, you start to debate whether or not you want to kiss them. Youve started to convince yourself that maybe the date wasnt so bad and it was endearing how much they texted the whole time you were speaking.

You walk each other to the subway, and standing atop the stairs you stare deeply into each others eyes. You can literally feel the sexual tension building. Maybe this is the pivotal moment where you fall in love, and you finally realize what Tinder is all about? They grab you by the waist and go in for a kiss.

Its horrendous. The future you had planned for the two of you comes crashing down around you. How can someone go 25 plus years of their life not knowing how to kiss? You close your eyes and pray for it to end quickly.

Read more:!/javier79291967/status/399951402316730368

Bruce Campbell is a proud supporter of our nation’s military, and on this Veterans Day, he took to Twitter to pay tribute:!/GroovyBruce/status/399913884963717120!/GroovyBruce/status/399933670066110465

Thanks to both men for their service!!/GroovyBruce/status/399935677954924544



May God bless our veterans, today and forever.



‘Evil Dead’ star Bruce Campbell has some advice for the bros

Bruce Campbell recalls part in 1977′s ‘Detroit: Together We Can’ campaign

Actor Bruce Campbell’s coffee cup quote encourages entrepreneurial spirit [pic]

Forever indebted: Citizens honor Veterans Day [pics]

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After the election was called in the early hours of November 9 (and in the hours that followed), Ive settled into a holding pattern wavering between utter disbelief and numbness.

Social media is filled with heartbreak and sadness.

The people on mysubway platform are doing their best to avoid eye contact, and its hard to have a conversation that doesnt come to a screeching halt when the topic of the presidential election inevitably comes up.

Its clear we cant go on like this forever, and its important to remember we wont.

As Aaron Sorkin wrote in a letter to his daughter and wife published inVanity Fairlast week,

America didnt stop being America last night, and we didnt stop being Americans and heres the thing about Americans: Our darkest days have always always been followed by our finest hours.

But how do we get from these darkest days to those finest hours?

Long term, if youre feeling exceptionally put off by the events of lastweek, get involved in your local governmentscene.

Im not saying you should run for office, but be more vocal in standing up for what you believe is right.

In the short term, if what youre looking for is a reason to feel slightly better about humanity and you arent really getting any satisfaction from the overabundance of crappy dog videos and articles highlighting cheap tickets out of the country, Ihighly recommend getting yourself immersed in a different sort of politics the fictional kind.

How To Move Forward After The Election

Through video games, TV, movies, comics and books, you can distract yourself in a way that not only takes your mind off the cable news cycle, but will also perhaps make you think through the next four years in a way you hadnt thought possible.

Heres a quick rundown of fivethings to check out in order to tear yourself away from what cant be changed (and, frankly, entertain yourself) without feeling like youre slogging through meaninglessness.

1. Make your own America in Civilization VI.

Civilization VI came out this past October, and even if youve never touched a single game in the series, its easy to dive right in and begin creating.

Its a super helpful way to understand what it takes to make a country run both politically and economically while still playing an incredibly addictive (and fun) game.

2. Read Margaret Atwoods The Handmaids Tale.

Set in a future where a totalitarian theocracy has overthrown the government, Atwood explores the effects of extreme governance and policy on women in North America.

Its worth noting the book came out of the fanatical rightwing talk of the 80s, so it feels exceptionally spot on right now.

3. Binge all seven seasons of The West Wing.

One of the best TV series ever made is more relevant now than ever.

From empty Supreme Court seats to sickness in the White House, The West Wing covers everything weve been working through over the last year.

Oh, and it may help renew your faithin the political system, too.

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As Ariel Winter told us recently, If somebody doesnt like what Im doing, you can unfollow me.

But for those who do, prepare for a treat.

The 18-year-old gave her fans what they wanted when she stripped down to a tiny thong bikini and twerked with the fast speed filter on Snapchat.

Nothing says sass like an ultra-fast booty twerk.

Shes down in Mexico withLevi Meaden at the moment and keeping everyone up to date with her adventures via the social media platforms we all know and love.

Shes not one to be shy about her body, but it hasnt always been that way. In a recent interview with Elite Dailys Katie Corvino, the actress shared,

Over the years, Ive struggled with body confidence issuesIts really important nowadays to empower young women and young men to feel really good about themselves, not only their appearance, but to feel good enough to speak about issues that are important to them and to stand up for themselves when necessary.

Ariel said its taken [her] years to be able to get to a place where [shes] OK with the hate she gets online.

She continued,

I started out at 11 years old in the spotlight, and I was super flat I had no curves and I was getting hate for that.

Then I turned 12, and my body changed instantly and I was this curvy woman but as soon as that happened, I got so much hate for that [too].And it was really hard for me Id read the negative comments and think to myself, well maybe if I just change [this one thing] people will like me theyll appreciate the things I have to say and the things I do.

But that never happened. They never appreciated anything I did regardless.

Haters gonna hate.

This Girl Doesn’t Need Drugs To Have Fun

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Growing up, I watched a lot of television. (Like, a LOT.) I gravitated toward the types of shows withstorylines centered on relationships.

What can I say? I’m a sucker for love.

These shows always seemed to feature a female leaddating a war veteran.And though intoxicating to my younger self, these storylines had a problem: They were all extremely limited. They only showed a one-dimensional portrait of what it’s like to date someone who’s been through a literal war.

I learned firsthand that dating a veteran is anything but one-dimensional when I fell in love with an Iraq War vet.Itdoesn’t only entail waiting for someone to triumphantly come home after cycling through deployments. Hell, it’s about more than just going through war.

It’s about the 250,000 service members whoare transitioning back to civilian life each year reuniting with their families, trying to find jobs and starting their lives again. It’s about commitment, both the commitment of the relationshipand the commitment the vet has to his or her country.

And for me, it was about trying to understand something I couldn’timagine. I gained the kind of perspective I never had before, and together we took onissues that can be deeply uncomfortable and are often brushed aside.

I realized just how much people are willing to risk for their country.

Most of us love our country and would consider ourselves patriotic. But when it comes to actually defending our nation? That’s where the patriotism of many falls short.

When I dated a veteran, I loved someone who put everything on the line for America. Experiencing his sacrifice together made me appreciate our country that much more, but it also opened my eyes to the lack of options that lead some to the choice of military service.

Their battles are physical and mental.

When we think about the battles that veterans have fought, we mostly think about the physical ones. We think about combat, weapons, trenches all the trappings of war that most have only experienced through the lens of Hollywood films.

But after the battlefield is in the rearview mirror, the scars left behind aren’t just on the surface. They plague a veteran’s mind. Consider post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which affects a large number of vets.According to the Department of Veteran Affairs, nearly 30 percent of veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan warstreated at VA hospitals and clinics have been diagnosed with PTSD. That’s more than250,000 reported cases.

When I waswith a veteran, I sawthe effects of PTSD firsthand.And PTSD is just one of the many pernicious afflictions that silently haunt so many veterans.

It’s okay to let someone not talk about it.

When my significant other was dealing with an issue, it was my natural impulse to urge him to talk about it.

But PTSD and other post-war problems that veterans routinely experience are not simple issues that you can talk about and magically solve. They often require professional help to work through, and not everyone is able to overcome the demons they face.

Ilearned that it’s okay to let someone just be. It’s okay to let someone not talk about it. It’s okay to sit and live in the silence. Sometimes the only way I could relate was simply by being there.

Ibecame a part of the veteran community.

The bond that a veteran has with his or her fellow soldiersis unbreakable. I mean, it has to be, right? In order to head into combat with someone, you need to implicitly trust that person. This is your life at stake, as well as your country.

I was welcomed into that community. I saw the perspective of many, not just my boyfriend’s, and I saw how they’re there for each other. It’s an exceptionally close group of people because each person has a fundamental understanding of what it means to go through something few otherscan comprehend.

Theoretical issues become real.

There are certain atrocities that most of us will never encounter. We hope we will never have to see someone die. We hope that we will never have a friend who commits suicide.

These theoretical issues become real when you’re in a war. And as stories came to light in the span of my relationship, they felt more real than they did before. I’ve metpeople whose lives have been touched by things like homelessness and death, and the issues have become uniquelypersonal because of that.

The transition back tocivilian life isn’t easy.

We hope that, when a veteran leaves the service, he or she will be welcomed back into society with open arms.

But formanyveterans, transitioning back to civilian life is a struggle. According to the VA, morethan half of all post-9/11 veteranswill face a period of unemploymenteven as the national unemployment rate continues to decline.

And when it comes to getting post-service benefits, things don’t look much better. As reported by the Military Times, despite ongoingimprovements,the VA was still sorting through75,000 backlogged disability claims at the end of 2015.

This means that manyveterans need not only emotional support, but also financial support.

It made me really grateful for what I have.

When I was with someone who had been through a literal war, I couldn’t help but thinkabout the hardships that I’ve endured, and man, they just didn’t stack up. It doesn’t make my experiencesany less valuable, it’s just that I learned to appreciate the things I haven’t seen.

The important thing I remembered through this realization is that I couldn’t feel guilty. I needed to maintain a healthy perspective.

Because the other thing I was grateful for was this person I hadfallen in love with. I was grateful that he survived the war and came out the other side open to love.

In this week’s episode of Secret Lives of Americans (Friday at 10.p.m. on Pivot), we meet Amber & Alex, who have been harboring a secret: they are buried in $50,000.00 of debt after being discharged from the Coast Guard for medical reasons. Find out how they changed the conversation about the transition back to civilian life by watching this video, and then visit the series’ Take Action hub to find out how you can get involved.

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J. Scott Applewhite, File / AP

WASHINGTON — Attorney General Eric Holder announced Wednesday that President Obama directed the executive branch to stop enforcing two laws that prevented same-sex married couples from receiving the same veterans’ benefits as are available to opposite-sex married couples.

The move is the latest fallout from the Supreme Court’s June decision in United States v. Windsor striking down the federal ban on recognition of same-sex couples’ marriages that was found in the Defense of Marriage Act.

“This announcement means gay and lesbian veterans who are legally married can better protect themselves and their children,” White House spokesman Shin inouye told BuzzFeed. “The President believes that all couples who are legally married deserve respect and equal treatment under the law, and his Administration continues to work to implement the Supreme Court’s Windsor ruling swiftly and smoothly.”

The laws, found in Title 38 of the U.S. Code, had been found unconstitutional this past week by a federal trial court judge in California.

The decision to stop enforcing a law, Holder wrote in a letter to House Speaker John Boehner, “is appropriately rare.” In this situation, however, he wrote that “continued enforcement of the Title 38 provisions pending further judicial review is unwarranted.”

The Justice Department had earlier concluded that the DOMA and Title 38 provisions were unconstitutional. Until Wednesday, however, the Justice Department had a policy that, although it would not defend the provision in legal challenges, it would continue to enforce the law until a final judicial determination was reached as to its constitutionality.

On Wednesday, however, Holder wrote, “Although the Supreme Court did not directly address the constitutionality of the Title 38 provisions in Windsor,” the Supreme Court’s June ruling striking down the provision in DOMA, “the reasoning of the opinion strongly supports the conclusion that those provisions are unconstitutional under the Fifth Amendment.”

Inouye told BuzzFeed, “The President has accepted the Attorney General’s recommendation and has directed that the Administration no longer enforce certain provisions of Title 38 that discriminate against legally married gay and lesbian veterans. This is an important step forward for the families of veterans and their ability to access survival, health care, home loan, and other benefits.

“As the Attorney General’s letter to Congress states, the circumstances of the situation demonstrate that this is the appropriate course of action. Even the Bipartisan Legal Advisory Group has ceased to defend the constitutionality of those provisions of Title 38 in legal challenges.”

The American Military Partner Association praised the decision.

“No longer will Tracy Johnson, the surviving spouse of Staff Sergeant Donna Johnson who was killed in Afghanistan, be treated as if she doesn’t matter by the Department of Veterans Affairs,” Stephen Peters, president of AMPA, said in a statement. “All of our veteran military families will finally be recognized and supported for their service to our nation.”

Read more:!/Baby_Kaj/status/399805611262488576

The soulless, it scorches. As the sane honor our brave veterans, the cretinous offer their despicable and stomach-turning thoughts.!/w_stather/status/399855979346817024!/muthafukindanyo/status/399832212490575872!/Diggthejsg/status/399781796096638976!/GenoJoyce/status/399766273602895872!/Kirkism1/status/399604844719112192!/daProPhet25/status/399783445720997888

Oh, well. No disrespect or anything.

For shame.

This Twitter user nutshelled it last year.!/nwoodard/status/267720537319542784

Our courageous veterans fought so that these ingrates would remain free.

We are forever grateful for your service. You have our undying gratitude, always.

Read more:!/patty_mcdee/status/278929775035297793

TMZ reports that Sarah Palin’s oldest son, Track Palin, has filed for divorce in Alaska.

News that the Army reservist and Iraq war veteran is ending his marriage was like an early Christmas present for Palin-haters.

Family valyoos y’all! RT @tmz Sarah Palin’s Son Headed for DIVORCE Court #Breaking

— Jack Allen John (@PeaceInAmerica) December 12, 2012

Moregreat family values from the Palins RT @tmz Sarah Palin’s Son Headed for DIVORCE Court

— Vanessa Lane (@VanessaMLane) December 12, 2012

What a great family Sarah has. 😀 RT @tmz: Sarah Palin’s Son Headed for DIVORCE Court #Breaking

— Malibongwe (@Uhnkle) December 12, 2012

Oh, Alaska and John McCain…thanks so much for this –> RT @tmz: Sarah Palin’s Son Headed for DIVORCE Court #Breaking

— Joseph Dino (@joefavorite) December 12, 2012

“@tmz: Sarah Palin’s Son Headed for DIVORCE Court #Breaking” can’t shop at hobby lobby anymore.Shit!

— Jackson Singer (@Jxn2333) December 12, 2012

Divorce isn’t in God’s plan. Think of the babies the couple will no longer be able to create | RT @tmz: Sarah Palin’s Son Headed for DIVORCE

— Ryan Oaking (@ryanoaking) December 12, 2012

“@tmz: Sarah Palin’s Son Headed for DIVORCE Court #Breaking <– repubs can’t divorce it’s against church like abortion

— Steve M (@mac_of_all_macs) December 12, 2012

@tmz Didn’t they just get married?he gave up halfway like his Mom.

— Marjorie(@MmedeSevigne) December 12, 2012

‘Tis the season to be hateful?

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